14.11.06
A sad day... i almost cant take it..
Today i go ask my mum to let
me go to see the psychoanalysis...
i need to go for a check up...
coz.. i've been cutting myself
since march...*This year*...
i've been wanting to suicide but i didnt yet...
i've been like that since pri. 4...
P4 is the time where my
world became totally darkness..
But my mum reply me 'No!'
She keep saying that i must say out...
as in will feel better and will forgot
all the bad things that happened to me...
But this won't help..
My mood swing seems to
be worse nowadays...
i can suddenly laugh till siao
as if i from mental hospital...
or suddenly cry for nothing...
just can feel the pain in my heart...
den if i really cant take it...
i just cut to feel the physical pain and
i will feel better and know that
i'm still alive...
2nd time...
i told mum that i have been
wanting to suicide..
But she don't believe me...
she just reply me that..
'ARE YOU MAD?'
and what can i say?
i please her...
and she always find excuses like..
'i don't have enough money to
bring u to see psychoanalysis...'
'it's too expensive, i could afford'//
all this are JUST excuses...
she don't even want to help me...
fine...forget it...
i don't need her to pay...
i'll go there myself instead...
i'll pay for myself...
no matter how much money..
i just want to save her..
i don't want her to dying...
*oops i did it again*
